On the road to recovery
by Azrael-Autumn
Summary: Her heart breaks every time when she sees her son coming home covered with bruises and scrapes. When her son is starting to break pieces by pieces, she decides that enough is enough. She is taking Tsuna away from here to Italy and gets an appointment with the world greatest psychiatrist, Reborn. What she didn't know was that he is also the world greatest hit man too. (AU)
1. Chapter 1

Warning! Mentions of Self-harm.

*Written by both Azrael and Autumn

* * *

Summary: Her heart breaks every time when she sees her son coming home covered with bruises and scrapes. When she saw that her son is starting to break pieces by pieces, she decides that enough is enough. She is taking Tsuna away from here to Italy and gets an appointment with the world greatest psychiatrist, Reborn. What she didn't know was that he is also the world greatest hit man too.

x.X.x

"M-Mum! Why didn't you knock?!"

Her throat clenched tightly and tears pricked at the corner of her eyes as she took in the trembling form of her son, her precious, sitting at the corner of his room with his legs folded neatly against his petite body.

"Tsuna, give it to me." Funny how steady her voice is when all she wanted to, was to break something. Or scream at the sky at the unfairness of the entire situation.

"W-What? I don't have anyt-thing."

She slowly took another step into the room, her breath hitched when she saw several lines of red liquid trailing down Tsuna's milky white arms, soaking into the orange shirt.

The brunette could see Tsuna's eyes widened slightly with panic, his arms tucked close against his chest as his hands tightened.

She bit her lips, her heart pounding faster and soon all over the place as she closed the distance between them, a desperate attempt to stop the red, precious liquid from flowing down his palm, intermingling with the liquid flowing down from his wrist and onto his arms.

Nana kneel down gently and watches him for a long moment, hearing the words she knows that he can't, won't, will never bring himself to say. _I'm scared. It hurts. I'm sorry for being such a failure. _

_I don't want…to be me…_

When a lone tear trickled down from his eyes as if like a dam broken, at that very moment, she could feel the ache in her heart eased slightly because she knows that her son will be fine.

Not now. But he will be, as long he stays alive.

With a gentle and sad smile, she slowly peels open her son's palm and took the bloodied blade away and threw it aside, the sound of the mental clanging on the hard floor resounded loudly in silent room.

And she wraps her arms around her fragile, beautiful child.

"S-Sry…" He sobs into her shoulder, his tears staining the blue shirt she is wearing wet.

"I…" He chock back on his tears, his breath heavy with the effort to breathe through all the tears he has let out.

Her hold slackens and her arms drop to her side before she gently grasps his arm. With great care, she turns it over and her gaze trailed white, faint scars littered over his wrist before landing on the red, angry ones.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She whispered, her gaze, though blurred suddenly, never strayed from the cuts.

"Because." He squeezed his eyes shut tightly before taking in another breath. "I…I can hurt m-myself," he coughs before another sob escapes, "b-but I can't…h-h-hurt y-you."

Those words strike her like lightning, her entire world tilts and at that moment, she made her choice.

Enough is enough.

She is taking her son away to Italy where Iemitsu is and if her memory serves her right, a recent show that focuses on mental health has also mentioned that the world greatest psychiatrist, Reborn, is also there.

"Tsu-kun… would you like to move back with papa? In Italy?"

* * *

A/N: So...what's your thoughts on this story? Do review!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hey~ Sorry for updating only now. Pardon my poor grammar~

Enjoy!

Oh, &amp; Random passerby-san, hmm I'm not sure if it'll turn into R27 (Which I reckon quite unlikely) because;

Assuming Reborn is a genius &amp; finished Medical School at age of -I dunno..- 18? He would need probably another 4-5 years of shadowing another doctor before he is allowed to become one.

And it would probably take another 3-4 years of building up his reputation as one of the best,

So he would be around...24-25 years old while Tsuna would be, give and take, 14-15 (Since he would have experience bullying for a year or so in middle school).

That's kind of 10 years age gap.

And with Azrael being a co-writer...

I have no idea.

But it might, who knows? X)

* * *

"Nana? What's wrong?" The voice over the phone buzzed slightly at the static.

Her lips set into a thin line, preparing to break the news to Iemitsu, her husband that has been away for far too long.

"I'm bringing Tsu-Kun to Italy."

The news seems to have shocked the blond into silence, causing a scowl to descend on her lips. Whether Iemitsu like it or not, they are coming over and he better be prepare for it.

* * *

"Tsu-Kun…" She muttered under her breath exasperated when she saw her boy lying on the bed in their new house in Italy, his eyes blank with his mind far away in thoughts. She slowly approached her son, biting down on her bottom lip nervously when she saw that Tsuna wasn't responding.

"Tsu-kun, what's wrong?" She sat down gently on the bed, careful not to jostle the brunet much before her hand slowly runs through the soft, caramel locks.

"Tsu-Kun?" Blank brown eyes snapped to her, meeting her gaze before it was lowered and focus back into reality.

"M-Mum… Do I… Do I really have to g-go and see," He took in another breath at the very thought of having to go out and having a stranger hearing his thoughts, "See the Psychiatrist?" Her hand stopped in the middle of carding through his hair.

Nana had closed her eyes when she saw the fear coursing through those brown orbs that she loves so, _so much,_ before opening, licking her parched lips as she continues to run her hand through brown locks again. "We need to go, so that you can feel better, Tsuna. So that you can feel better."

* * *

"Hello Nana how is everything over there? Have you guys-"

"Why are you not here to visit Tsuna, Iemitsu?" A frown flitted through her lips.

"Sorry dear. I can't make it, but Oregano-" The blonde sighed as the sound of a dead line greeted on the phone.

* * *

A knock on the door could be heard, resounding loudly in the villa situated in the desolate place shrouded by the deep grove behind it.

Minutes later, Nana opened the door slowly, her eyes shining with slight caution and curiosity when a woman with light brown hair tied in a bun was revealed.

"Nana Sawada?" When the brunette nodded slightly in affirmation, her purple eyes seem to soften behind her glasses.

"It's an honor to meet you, Mrs. Sawada. My name is Oregano and I'm here by the orders of my boss, Iemitsu Sawada."

* * *

"Oregano-San, do you think you can help me to get an appointment with Dr Reborn? Besides my language barrier, I understand that-"

"D-Dr Reborn?" Her purple colored orbs widened slightly.

_Reborn? As in the Sun Arcobaleno, Reborn?!_

"Yes, I need him to help Tsuna." Her mouth thinned into a straight line as her shoulder tensed slightly, though Oregano has no idea why. "I need him-"She took in a shuddering breath.

"I need him to help my baby," Tears started gathering at the corner of her eyes which seems to be dulled by sadness. "My baby needs help. It's my fault."

The brunette's gaze snaps up as a lone tear trail down her face, her eyes flashing wildly. "If I hadn't ignored the nicknames they gave my baby, if only-!" She choked back a sob before burying her face in her hands, her petite frame shaking from the force.

Oregano has yet to experience love. Or become a mother herself. So she doesn't understand the feeling that the brunette is going through. But when she saw the fierce protective spark in Nana's eyes, she felt a surge of respect for the woman.

This strong and yet, fragile, a woman who has taken on her shoulder to help her son.

And for the first time after joining the CEDEF, she felt a hint of anger and resentment towards her superior.

How could he have left his family behind? Even when they needed him, where is he now? True, he was only doing with their best interest in his heart, but the moment Nana had married to Iemitsu, the moment Tsunayoshi was born-

The mafia had sunk its claws into their very existence.

Come to think of it, where is Tsunayoshi? The boy who her superior had called him 'favorite Tuna fish'?

"Nana-San, where's Tsunayoshi?"

The brunette slowly raised her face up, a stab of guilt for not comforting the woman throb in Oregano's heart when she saw how red and puffy Nana's eyes were.

"He… is in his room."She muttered weakly, "Tsu-kun is under a lot of stress, I think." Slowly she leaned back against the leather sofa.

"He is rather apprehensive of meeting a psychiatrist," A weary smile spread across her face. "In fact, I'm sure Tsu-kun couldn't even bear the thought of leaving the house. He only left Namimori because he couldn't take it anymore." Her gaze trailed back to Oregano's eyes and locked their eyes, the brown doe eyes looking at her solemnly.

"I want Tsu-kun to be happy, Oregano. I need your help to make him so. Please." Her gaze drops.

"Help me to get an appointment with Dr Reborn."

Oregano found herself nodding and promising a passive aggressive way to show her boss the anger she has felt on behalf of Nana.

"I will."

* * *

"Hello? Sawada Residence."

"Nana-San?"

"Oregano?" A gasp. "Perhaps-!"

"Yes," The brunette could hear a smile in the voice. "Reborn is willing to meet Tsuna tomorrow."

Oregano could hear a sob escaped into the phone, travelling to her ears and the teary smile that travel through the device. "Thank you so much, Oregano."

"Thank you so much. I'm forever in your debt."

* * *

Tsuna could feel his heart beating faster every minute they were getting closer to the hospital.

He is full of fear and he could feel himself getting more and more uncomfortable in his own skin.

The moment he had to step out of the car, he felt like there are a thousand eyes on him.

He wants to flee, to disappear.

And to lock himself in the room where no one can see him.

But the brunette could see the concern in his mother's eyes and he doesn't want to make her worry anymore.

So he held his tongue even though the tremors running through his body (most evident in his hands) are getting stronger and the urge to hurl increases.

"Tsu-kun?" He gave a weak smile when his mother and the woman with spectacles peered at him with worry.

"Tsu-kun, If you really-"

He shook his head slowly but the pain throbbing seems to trifold just by doing so.

"I'm fine. Really." With a last dubious glance cast by the two females, they continue their journey, missing the darkening look in his eyes.

He hates this feeling. The brunet chew on the corner of his lips, his thoughts taking a darker turn at the reaction his body was giving, a soft chuckle slipped through his lips when he saw his hand trembling in front of him.

_It's not a way to live. _

_It's a way to die._

* * *

_**Knock.**_

_**Knock.**_

"Come in."

His hand hovers hesitantly above the door knob before tightening palm _(Was it always this sweaty?)_ and twist the door knob before pushing the door open. He could feel his shoulder getting stiff, his neck, unable to turn and his head so heavy that he couldn't lift it up and look at the doctor. He closes the door awkwardly when a spasm travelled through his neck that was too stiff from anxiety.

The brunet stiffened when the doctor suddenly broke the silence.

"Tsuna, right? Come, have a seat. Make yourself comfortable."

Keeping his gaze low, he shuffled towards the sofa, his face burning when he started limping slightly whenever he got conscious about the way he walks. After seconds which seems like decades to Tsuna, he softly sank himself on the soft, cushy armchair.

"My name is Reborn, Tsuna. It's nice to meet you."

Silence ensued in the room except for the faint nod from the brunet's head, which would be missed if Reborn wasn't observing the teen.

"So," Tsuna flinched slightly as he tries to relax, his gaze transfixed on the doctor's shoes, "How are you feeling today, Tsuna?"

The brunet tightens the deathly grasp on his own hands, knuckles white.

"F-Fine."

Reborn inclined his head slightly as he continues to observe the taunt line on the boy's shoulder that was supposed to be the child of the head of CEDEF.

He sighed softly.

"Tsuna, how are _you_ feeling? Fine is not answering the question."

The brunet flinched as if being struck and seems to retreat inward to himself. The raven hair man ran a hand through his hair before leaning forward slightly.

"Tsuna, how was your trip to Italy?"

Tsuna, if possible, lowered his gaze further. "O-Okay, I guess."

Reborn leaned back into his seat. Looks like this will be a long session just to get the kid to open up and relax even for a little.

* * *

Dark onyx eyes peered up when the sound of the door being knocked travelled to his ears.

"Come in."

A brunette stepped in.

_Ah, Iemitsu's wife._

"Nana Sawada?"

She nodded her head firmly, though he could see some fear and anxiousness lurking at the corner of her chocolate orbs.

"Tsuna… What do you think…" She trailed off uncertainly, chewing on the bottom of her lips.

"Well," Reborn leaned back into his armchair further and stapled his fingers together. "I'm sure he has shown the signs of anxiety, though I'm not really sure which type, and most prominently, depression from the information I've received from you."

The brunette lock gazes with him immediately, her eyes burning with determination.

"What can I do to help?"

A smirk flitted across his face as he continues to see the determination and _I'll do anything to save my son_ brimming in her eyes.

Good thing the kid has a supportive mother, though the absence of a father would no doubt cause some resentment in the brunet.

_Good riddance,_ he thought smugly. Iemitsu that guy certainly isn't someone who's fit to become a parent without going through some lessons.

This time, a wider, more genuine smile stuck to his lips. "Be there for him. Be understanding. That's all you need to be."

"I'll do the rest and pull him back on his feet."

* * *

_I'm not fine as in fine, but fine as in you don't have to worry about me. –Dr. Gregory House._


	3. Chapter 3

_Social anxiety disorder is an anxiety disorder in which people fear social situations where they might be embarrassed or judged. When put in a social situation where they might become anxious sufferers have symptoms such as a racing heart, trembling, blushing or even sweating._

_It is not to be confused with shyness. Social anxiety is far more intense than shyness, and can keep you from functioning in everyday life. People with social anxiety want to interact with others, but are overcome with fear._

* * *

Reborn looks around the room, satisfied with the results that was reflected in the room he has just arranged a day before. A table lamp on the side table beside his chair to create a more "homey" feeling with a low, round, wooden coffee table between the two sofas for him and the brunet.

Though it was good that he managed to find a small one so that he can place the cups on the table. It won't do to have large furniture between them. Anything that creates a physical barrier also conceives an emotional barrier.

He strides confidently to his beige sofa and settled himself comfortably, setting a countdown timer for 40 minutes on his watch where there would be a loud 20 second series of beeps, signalling that only 10 minutes was left in the session.

Now that everything has been properly set up, time for a coffee.

* * *

He watches the brunet fidget in his seat, a slight tremble snaked around the boy's arms while his hands seem to have the urge of finding something to pull in and wrap his arms around, something to hide his body behind.

"Good afternoon Tsuna, how are you feeling today?"

Eyes down-cast, the boy wrings his hands in his lap. "F-Fine."

Reborn heaved a silent sigh.

"Before we go on, I want to tell you some things about me and what you can expect during our relationship. I am a Psychiatrist and also a counselor that will be helping you for your visits to the center. As you know from our last session, my name is Reborn. You also need to know that we will meet for 50 minutes each time and I have set a timer on my watch that is placed on my desk behind me."

Reborn gave an affirmative smile when he saw Tsuna eyes peek up from underneath his bangs before dropping his gaze to his lap and trembled slightly.

"The timer is set for 40 minutes and it's rather loud when it goes off. There are two reasons for the timer. Firstly, I do not have to worry about the time and can focus on you and your needs, and not worry about watching the clock. Secondly, when it goes off, I know that we have 10 minutes left and we can start to wrap things up."

He paused slightly to observe Tsuna who seems to relax slightly in his seat.

"However, just as importantly, you will probably hear the timer goes off and you, too, will know that we have about 10 minutes to go. That frees you to make some decision for yourself. You might say to yourself, 'Humm, only 10 minutes to go. I really want to ask this or get this in. So I better say it now. Or you might think 'Only 10 minutes to go, I better hold this for next time.' Either way," The raven hair man quirk his lips slightly when he saw Tsuna seem to be focusing on his words.

"Both ways, you stay in control, and that is important to me."

When he saw a small spark of life in those brown eyes, Reborn knew that his current approach may have a chance of working.

* * *

Control?

When had he ever had control in his life?

What control is there to speak of?

He had no control over how he was treated in school.

None of what so ever.

But it sounded nice.

Control.

That would be nice.

Having control.

* * *

After several minutes of letting the information sink in, Reborn leans forward, his fingers curling around the handle of the white cup before he pulls it up to his lips, enjoying the warm water sliding down his throat.

From the corner of his eyes, he could see the brunet observing his moves warily, his body tensed. Reborn made a mental note as he placed the cup down gently on the wooden table, not wanting to startle the boy.

He let a small smile curl his lips, hoping to appear friendly and harmless to the brunet.

"So, could you tell me about yourself, Tsuna?"

He knows that based on the information given by Nana, Tsuna grew up in a small neighborhood and everything was going well until the boy had attended elementary school when the bullying has started.

Nana had stayed out because she thought the others were just teasing her boy until she realized that something wasn't right when Tsuna started asking her for permission to stay home. Or find a reason to stay home.

It was when she heard a child telling her boy to simply die because he is useless that shocked her to the very core of her soul, waking her up to the reality harshly.

But she didn't know how to react or what to do. When Tsuna refuses to say anything despite her urging, she decided to take a step back and wait for Tsuna to tell her.

She would silently make her son's favorite meals for dinner. Or to chatter and smile at him like she always had.

Then the bruises came.

Her heart felt like it had come to a halt. But no matter what, her son had evaded the problem and in the process triggered a panic attack when she insisted on knowing.

It was a terrifying moment for both of them and Tsuna retreated further into his shell while she helplessly sees her son doing so.

Reborn held back the urge to shake his head while retaining the background information he needed as he waited for the brunet to answer his question.

"Tsuna?"

The boy jolted and seemed to fight back the urge to curl into himself.

"M-My name is Tsuna. Um…" The boy nibbled on his bottom lip, his hands clammy. "I-I am 15?"

"Okay, what are your hobbies?"

The brunet stilled, his gaze wandering to take a quick glance-to gauge Reborn's reaction?- before dropping to the floor.

"I don't really have one…"

"I see. That's okay, Tsuna." Reborn quickly assured the boy when head drops.

"Tell me, how are you adapting to Italy?"

"O-Okay I guess…"

Reborn nod his head gently.

"I see. How are you finding the food here? Have there been any changes in your eating habits lately? More or less than the usual?"

Tsuna body language seems to show that he was confused at the change of topic, but couldn't really focus on the new information as he was trying to calm himself down from the adrenaline rushing through his veins .

"It's okay… I didn't really feel like eating…"

"How about your sleeping habit? More or less that the usual?"

"Um," The boy seems to lighten somewhat when he realized that the conversations are not straying into the territory he would like to avoid. "I, uh-usually sleep for 8-9 hours and even Mum find it hard to wake me up. Now I… I can sleep even longer than that… But I can be easily be woken up as long there are noises… And I feel even more lethargic than usual…"

The man gave another nod while the boy seems to loosen up when he realized that Reborn wasn't going to disapprove or hurt him mentally like his bullies did.

Maybe the Psychiatrist isn't as scary as he looks.

And maybe…just maybe, he wasn't being judge and wasn't acting stupid or embarrassing himself.

In the meanwhile, Reborn ticked off his mental list and managed to make his suspicion of the boy having a major depression more reasonable.

* * *

A/N (Autumn) : I AM ALIVE PEOPLE


	4. Chapter 4

_There are many types of depression._ _Sadness or downswings in mood are normal reactions to life's struggles, setbacks, and disappointments. Many people use the word "depression" to explain these kinds of feelings, but depression is much more than just sadness._

_Some people describe depression as "living in a black hole" or having a feeling of impending doom. However, some depressed people don't feel sad at all—they may feel lifeless, empty, and apathetic, or men in particular may even feel angry, aggressive, and restless._

_Whatever the symptoms, depression is different from normal sadness in that it engulfs your day-to-day life, interfering with your ability to work, study, eat, sleep, and have fun. The feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and worthlessness are intense and unrelenting, with little, if any, relief._

* * *

_Major depression is characterized by the inability to enjoy life and experience pleasure. The symptoms are constant, ranging from moderate to severe. Left untreated, it typically lasts for about six months. Some people experience just a single depressive episode in their lifetime, but more commonly, it is a recurring disorder. However, there are many things you can do to support your mood and reduce the risk of recurrence._

_Dysthmia is a type of chronic "low-grade" depression. More days than not, you feel mildly or moderately depressed, although you may have brief periods of normal mood. The symptoms are not as strong as the symptoms of major depression, but they last a long time (at least two years). These chronic symptoms make it very difficult to live life to the fullest or to remember better times. Some people also experience major depressive episodes on top of dysthymia, a condition known as "double depression." If you suffer from dysthymia, you may feel like you've always been depressed. Or you may think that your continuous low mood is "just the way you are." However, dysthymia can be treated, even if your symptoms have gone unrecognized or untreated for years._

* * *

Name: Sawada Tsunayoshi

Age: 15

Findings:

Signs of physical, verbal and emotional abuse.

Patient attended school but was bullied and ostracized.

Low self-esteem.

Largest Concerns:

Major depression (Suicidal) and Dysthymia.

Anxiety (Possibly General and Social).

Integration into society will be overwhelming.

Reborn closed the orange file and drop his pen on the table, leaning back against his chair while his eyes fixed blankly at the ceiling.

The boy is still going around circles in their conversation and Reborn doesn't blame him. The boy has been ostracized since young and that itself can cause pain that often is deeper and lasts longer than a physical injury. After prolonged or repeated exposure to ostracism, psychological resources will become depleted and needs will become internalised, which led to feelings of alienation, learned helplessness, depression, worthlessness, and loss of purpose.

Loss of purpose indeed. Tsunayoshi looks very close to giving up.

That is a very large obstacle in the boy's recovery and despite what Reborn had told Nana, if Tsuna doesn't want to get out of the hole he has fallen into, there is nothing he can do. Even medicines might not help.

Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose.

* * *

"Tsunayoshi?"

The boy flinched and his hands clasp tighter. "Y-Yes?"

He waits for him to repeat, hoping that the hands of the clock would move faster. They had two appointments for 50 minutes in a week and every single time, the brunet would try to waste minutes so that they have less time to talk about things he doesn't want to talk about.

"Tsunayoshi, come on. You can do this."

_You can do this_, he says. The boy wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. How is the man so sure that he can do it? When he feels so broken? And will always be so broken.

"Tsunayoshi, come on. Just one thing that you like about yourself."

Absently, he noted that his fingernails were digging into his skin, areas around it starting to redden. He blinks in the chair and suddenly felt like he was back at school.

"_Better stay far away from Dame-Tsuna lest he spread the useless he has to us."_

"_With certainty, I can assure you that you will amount to nothing in life, Sawada! Now go and sit there! Yes! There, right beside the trash bin! After all, that is where trash belongs to, right, class?"_

"_Come on!," The boy towered over him before leaning forward, "Trash doesn't need to eat and definitely don't need money-"_

"Tsunayoshi?"

He blinks again and he is back in the clean, white office with the Psychiatrist.

"What's wrong?"

Tsuna shook his head. "N-Nothing."

"Please don't make me go around in circles again, Tsunayoshi."

The brunet nodded tensely and shrink into himself right before Reborn's eyes. Seeing that, the raven hair man softened.

"Tsunayoshi," In the silent room, Reborn's voice seems to boom and echoes in Tsuna's ears. Many times, Tsuna had always brushed the man's attempt to get him to open up aside, but his voice had a tone of seriousness that makes him pause and _listen_. "I know you feel like you're not moving forward even after all these weeks but I'm not going to tell you that one day you will feel better and all this will seem like a faraway dream."

Stunned, the brunet gaze flickered upwards, their eyes meeting for the first time today.

"But I will tell you that life is like a dark tunnel. You may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving forward, you will eventually come to a better place. All you need to do is _to keep moving forward._ I know it's hard. And you will struggle. Trust me. You will."

Coal black eyes glazed over with memories, not noticing the boy gaze that never once left his face.

"There will be times where it would hurt so bad that you want it all to end. And many times you will feel like you are dropping further into a dark hole instead of making progress and it will take your entire being to claw back to the spot you originally were," A small smile quirk the man's lips as he turns his focus back on his patient that remains silent the entire time.

"I, too, always have to struggle and fight. And that made me strong. It made me who I am."

The Psychiatrist hopes that the boy would place his trust in those words and perhaps, start to move, even if it was just a tiny, tiny step.

Tilting his head to the side, he decided to look closer when he saw Tsuna giving him a small smile.

The boy was smiling a little, and perhaps to others, the boy might be happy.

And yet to his eyes, it was a smile with an underlying twist to it. A smile of a child who is determined not to weep.

And he wonders if this could be considered a victory, since the kid clearly does not have any hope left in him to believe.

To believe in his future and his own ability to climb back up.

Sadness swept over him. Reborn wanted to shake the boy, shake him awake to the fact that he was strong. How can the boy not see it? Despite the circumstances, the boy keeps on living. That is the will to survive! He clung on to life despite the pain! How can he doubt himself?

Sighing inwardly, he took a glance at the clock when the alarm sounded, signalling that they only have 10 minutes left.

"Tsuna," He leaned forward, recapturing the gaze of his patient that had dropped to the ground, "Before I assign you your homework today, I just wanted to make sure that you know something."

Despite the lack of reaction, Reborn knows that he had gotten his patient attention.

"I saw a poster on the internet this week and I think it really got everything I wanted to say, so I'm going to tell you about it." He smiles when Tsuna nodded slightly, his fingers loosening its death grip.

"I quote the poster, 'I don't like the phrase "A cry for help". When somebody says to me, "I'm thinking about suicide, I have a plan; I just need a reason not to do it," the last thing I see is helplessness. I think: Your depression has been beating you up for years, it called you ugly, and stupid, and pathetic, and a failure, for so long that you've forgotten it's wrong. You don't see any good in yourself, and you don't have any hope.' "

Reborn observe his patient who seems to curl into himself, bangs covering any expression. Lacing his fingers together, he props his arms on his legs, his face resting on his fingers.

"But still, here you are; you've come over and said, "Hey! Staying alive is really hard right now! Just give me something to fight with! I don't care if it's a stick! Give me a stick and I can stay alive!" How is that helpless? I think it's incredible. With **no hope**, running on **nothing**, you're ready to cut through hundred miles of hostile jungle with nothing but a stick, if that's what it gets you to safety. All I'm doing is handing out sticks. You're the one staying alive."

A sidelong glance reveals a small frown on the brunet's lips.

"And now, in my own words, let me tell you, I think you're incredible. You don't need my pity. This isn't pathetic. This is the will to survive, Tsunayoshi. This is how humans lived long enough to become the dominant species."

Almost missing the small whisper, Reborn could feel a grin stretching his lips when he heard his patient's question. The boy is finally opening himself up.

"But I'm not strong… I came here because Mum wanted me to…"

"And because of that, it makes you even stronger. You came despite every cell of your being was screaming at you to stay away. You came and sit here every two days a week. You continue to come despite all the pain, Tsunayoshi, even if it's not for your own sake. Is that not strength? Is that not courage?"

The boy seems taken aback, his pupils dilating slightly before he drops his head again and there was absolute stillness. Not a sound could be heard either. Even his own breath seemed to die as soon as it left his mouth and Tsuna feels his senses became heightened. He felt like the prey and it was as if the world were encased in a cocoon, a bubble, and there was no way out.

Whimpering at the discomfort, Tsuna sucked in a breath and pressed his fingers on the bridge of his nose as his body started to shake and curls into himself.

"-Yoshi? Tsunayoshi? Look at me."

The boy's heart jumps with his body when he felt a hand placed on his wrist, his eyes catching dark ones. There is nothing but worry there and he feels a sense of shame overwhelming him.

"Tsunayoshi, where were you?"

"W-What?"

"What were you thinking about just now, Tsunayoshi?" Reborn soften his voice, hoping to coax the boy to open up.

"I..." He hesitates before shaking his head, clamming his mouth shut.

The man gave a soft smile and gently let go of the boy's wrist.

"It's okay if you don't feel like sharing it with me. Okay, I think we should hold off your homework for this week, so that you can rest." He took another glance at the clock. They had gone pass 15 minutes of their designated time.

But to Reborn, it was time that was not wasted. He had finally gotten the boy to open up.

A notable victory.

And a step towards the boy's recovery journey.

Gently, he guides the boy to stand up and took a step back.

"Your goal this week is to rest and enjoy yourself, all right?"

Tsuna let out a breath and nodded, grateful and relieved. This goal feels possible.

* * *

A/N (Autumn): It's been a loooong time. I know. But RL still takes priority in my life.

Chapter is not checked for grammar etc.


	5. Chapter 5

_There are several types of anxiety disorders including panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, specific phobias, and generalized anxiety disorder._

_They can cause such distress that it interferes with a person's ability to lead a normal life._

_An anxiety disorder is a serious mental illness. For people with anxiety disorders, worry and fear are constant and overwhelming, and can be crippling._

* * *

He peered over his rimless glasses at the boy who seems to be so much more comfortable at being in his office compared to how it was when they first met.

"Hello Tsuna. How are you feeling today?"

The brunet gave a tentative smile. Reborn felt his insides warm. Finally, the boy is showing some progress after a month.

"Um, okay."

Ok. Maybe not much of a progress as of a step in this area. But still.

"Tsuna, we talked about this before, didn't we?"

The boy cringed before plastering a weak smile on his face.

"Um, I…feel…well?" Wriggling his nose in frustration, Tsuna place a hand on his neck nervously, his eyes darting to the floor.

It wasn't as if he was doing that on purpose. He just can't find an adjective to describe it.

Reborn shifted slightly, his face inclined downwards to observe the boy's facial expression. "Hey, it's okay if you can't find a word to describe it. Remember what I've told you before? That the reason I wanted something more than a 'fine' or 'okay' was to stop you from bottling your feelings and letting you find a way to voice your emotions out, right?"

Tsuna shrugged akwardly and wrinkled his nose slightly, not knowing what to do.

"Y-Yeah…I'm…feeling calmer today."

Reborn nodded, his eyes assessing Tsuna critically, his mind taking in all the signals sent by the boy's body language.

"Okay," Reborn quirked a smile, "Let's start on our session. So, Tsuna, do you know what is Anxiety?"

Tsuna shook his head slowly.

"Ok, let me explain. It is an emotion which usually involves worry and fear. It is a state of mind but can also affect our thoughts, behaviours and physical reactions in our body. Although anxiety can be unpleasant, it's something within to help us keep safe. When we find ourselves in dangerous or stressful situations, anxiety helps us by preparing our body to either run away or fight back. This is known as the "fight versus flight" response."

Reborn inclined his head slightly. "Is everything still clear, Tsuna?"

Fidgeting, Tsuna grunted an affirmative softly before giving a stiff smile.

Containing a smile at how far Tsuna has come, he continued his explanation.

"Although anxiety can help us survive, it can start to become a problem when we use the fight versus flight response when there is no need. Anxiety is natural and helpful in dangerous or stressful situations but becomes a problem when we experience anxiety when we are not in a dangerous or stressful situation or long after it has passed."

Reborn shot a searching glance at Tsuna to check if he had overwhelmed his patient. But when he saw Tsuna still waiting for his next action with less worry and fear, he wanted to dance in joy.

Only when alone. It won't do to dance in front of his patient. That would be unprofessional.

Clearing his throat, his mind started on planning what to do next. Tsuna has given a positive feedback that far exceeds his expectations. What approach should he take?

Should he start the therapy by challenging Tsuna on thoughts that might be causing him his anxiety or should he give the boy the option of going straight for desensitization?

He straightened up, making Tsuna unconsciously mirroring him. Good. Their relationship has progressed far better than expected.

"Tsuna, I would like to get your opinion on this issue. For our current and upcoming sessions, I would like to use CBT, short for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help you. This therapy has two main components.**Cognitive therapy** examines how negative thoughts, or _cognitions_, contribute to anxiety. **Behavior therapy** examines how you behave and react in situations that trigger anxiety. If you were to choose Cognitive, we will be examining your thoughts and I will identify and correct these negative thoughts and beliefs when they arise."

He motioned for Tsuna to take a sip of water which the boy complied.

"Feeling better?"

The brunet gave a weak smile. "Y-Yeah…"

"I hope I'm not overwhelming you with all these information."

Tsuna shrugged uncomfortably but the taunt lines in his shoulder eventually dissipate after several minutes of silence.

"Better?"

Tsuna nodded.

"Ok. So remember, there are two components, Cognitive and Behavior Therapy?"

Reborn laced his fingers together.

"If you choose Behaviour, we will probably use exposure therapy, where I will expose you to the situations or objects you fear. The idea is that through repeated exposures, you'll feel an increasing sense of control over the situation and your anxiety will diminish. The exposure is done in one of two ways: I may ask you to imagine the scary situation, or you may confront it in real life- Tsuna. Breathe."

Reborn cursed inwardly when colours drained out of Tsuna's face, his pupils dilating while shaking. Alarmed, his hands shot out to grip at the boy's shoulder, only to start in shock when he realised how thin Tsuna was.

"Tsuna, look at me-" Still cursing in multitude of language, he kneeled down to get a better look at the boy's face when a breeze of air rushed around them, the temperature turning scorching hot. His eyes widened, heart racing as his hands lost its grip and dropped to his side.

Guarded orange tinted eyes flashed up to meet his, a flame dancing on his forehead.

* * *

A/N (Autumn): I'm sorry that it was so short! But life's been hetic and I been struggling on how to put those scenes in my head to words :( I'm pretty sure Reborn's going to kill Iemitsu in the next chapter. Yay~

Also, this chapter is unbetad!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Hmm, there is pairing just for this chapter XD Might/Might not continue it for the next one :D Hope you will like it :)

I know it's rather short but I kinda churned this out within half an hour since I just saw the reviews (Pls don't kill me!)

* * *

He blinks when his hand drops gently on his head, ruffling with affection.

Tsuna bit the bottom of his lips, shoulder taunt and his eyes flickering everywhere while he presses himself closer to Reborn when he started feeling thousands of eyes on him.

"Think you could continue?"

The brunet closes his eyes, a feeling of warmth wrap around him just from listening to the baritone voice.

Reluctantly, he nodded and slipped his hand into the larger, black glove hand.

"Let's go…"

At the side, his mother and Oregano beamed.

* * *

Brown eyes lit up at the falling snow, one hand outstretch to catch the snow, palm open. Another was kept warm in Reborn's hand tucked in his black trench coat pocket.

Small clouds appears in the air at each breath the brunet take, nose red from the cold weather but nether less clearly taken with the scene before him.

There was no words exchange in between, the two moving forward without missing a beat towards the looming Christmas tree with lights sparkling brightly against the night sky.

"It's…" He licked his parched lips. "Beautiful…"

He could feel his throat seizing up, choking him with melancholy when the hitman shot him a soft smile.

"Tsuna?"

He blinks back the burning tears and smiles, bright and happy and sad all at the same time, though Tsuna have no idea how it can be so.

"I just…I just never thought that this was possible." It was soft, so soft that Reborn almost didn't catch it. The counselor squeezes the small hand in his.

"Let's come here again next year. Maybe to Rome the year after that."

Wordlessly, he nodded.

His mother and Oregano was down the street window shopping, so only the two of them was lingering around the tree, the place almost deserted since most would be home enjoying Christmas dinner.

"Ne, can I tell you something?"

Reborn smiles and pulls the teen along to a wooden bench at the side.

"Of course."

* * *

Tsuna fiddled with the corner of his sleeve.

"I-I…I want to say thank you."

The man chuckles. "You're welcome. Though, I have to tell you that you've told me that many, many times."

"N-No…" His gaze dropped to the snow white ground. "I… I want to thank you for letting me to h-have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

The world seems to stop.

"Can you tell me about this goodbye?"

Tsuna shudders, choking back the tears threating to fall down.

"Just two weeks ago…I felt like I couldn't…couldn't hold on anymore. It was night and I don't know why but I just felt…tired. So very tired." His lips trembled and his sight started blurring till it cleared when droplets of sadness rolls out.

"I just wanted to disappear. Just disappear and not think any more. I just didn't want to exist."

His words comes out in furious whispers, like a secret he is ashamed of and never wants to reveals but eventually did because he knows that the person in front of him will not turn him away.

Not like the others.

"Tsuna, do not be ashamed of your story."

The brunet flinched when warm arms wraps around him and pulls him in an embrace. He could feel himself starting to relax just a tiny bit and hesitantly, he returned the hug.

Eyes squeezed shut, he waits for any rejection. He knows. He _knows_ that Reborn is not like the others but his body doesn't know yet. It has only been 5 months since they have met and only had 2 months of therapy.

Tears falls faster than ever when the hug tightens.

"Close your eyes Tsuna." He squeezes his eyes tighter, following the instruction of the voice dropping into his ear. "Now imagine the best version of you possible. That is who you really are, let go of any part of you that does not believe it."

Burying his face into the hitman's shoulder may not have been the best reaction but it help in muffling his cries, throat tight with emotions.

"Mm."

Several minutes of sniffling, he slowly breaks the hug, head hung with embarrassment.

He grumbled softly under his breath when he received a cuff to his head.

"Why did you do that…"

The hitman smiles, gentle and fond, and Tsuna lets himself relax

"*Everyone who terrifies you is 65% water. And everyone you love is made of stardust, and I know, sometimes, you cannot breathe deeply, and the night sky is no home, and that you are down to your last two percent, but, nothing is infinite." He pulls the brunet in closer, leaning his head against the teen, "You are made of the sea and the stars, and one day, you are going to find yourself again."

Reborn closes his eyes. "Until then and even after that, I will always be by your side."

Tsuna slip his hand into Reborn's gloved hand. He stares at the small group of people trickling pass them, cast his gaze to the snow falling softly around them and breathe out small wisps of air.

"Thank you."

The teen close his eyes and tighten his hand around Reborn's.

"Merry Christmas."


End file.
